Ebb and Flow

I used to say that my "seasonal migrations" in pursuit of different fishing opportunities--to Baldwin in the spring for steelhead, Grayling for the opener, any number of locales for one hatch or another--gave a kind of continuity to my life. This may no longer be true, at least to the degree it was, and I've been thinking lately about why this is and what it means. Sometimes I've wondered if my passion for angling is flickering out.

I don't believe that's the case--it's been hard to think of much else for the last few weeks. But my fishing days have become fewer and farther between the last few seasons, and I haven't been able to fish some of the hatches or other events that I typically had. More work and home obligations have been dividing my attention. As both a practice and as an internal presence or force in my life, fishing has taken a back seat to other things.

This has become particularly apparent when I visit some fishing blogs, such as this one, or this one, or any number of those linked at the latter, or peruse the forums at The Drake. At these venues I run across anglers with a dedication I almost can't grasp now, though at an earlier point in time I might have aspired to it. When and how did I lose the spark?

A year or go this concerned me, and fueled a keen antagonism toward most of the things that were keeping me off the river (though not a determination to change this). Now, this is less the case. Fishermen are the last people who need to be told that change is a constant in life. Rivers change, fishing partners come and go, each season's progression of hatches and water conditions goes forward inexorably. Fish blogging becomes less and more interesting to bloggers and readers alike. To remain as obsessed about fishing as I was could have become a form of stagnation. To some the obsession might be an engine for change.

"The way the water goes is how the earth is shaped," says Jim Harrison. As the shape of life changes, for better and worse, anything in you that lives or flows will follow a different course. Sometimes you can and should change this. Sometimes it's best to let it carry you. For now, I'm choosing the latter.