Gratitude?

I don't know whether it's due to insecurity, cynicism, or an unfailing nose for hidden motives, but I often have a hard time taking compliments from my students at face value, especially at this time of the year. Pleas for a half-grade increase are inevitably accompanied by testimonies to my wisdom and helpfulness. I generally shake a generous amount to salt on those compliments, as I do those offered on the last day of class from students who are hanging between a higher and lower grade. But sometimes I react just as cautiously to praise from students who don't have anything to gain by it, whose grade is secure, possibly outstanding. My first thought is usually, what do they want?

Students in fact can be manipulative, and it's usually rather transparent when they are. But more often than not they are serious about their education, committed to doing the required work, later if not sooner, and appreciative of getting help when they need it. When compliments come from a student I've been working closely with, they seem genuine, and I am not skeptical about them. When they come out of the blue, I'm likely to see them as a problem.

Why should I do that? Even if students are merely flattering me, why should it matter? Though in exceptional circumstances I may offer a little grace unmerited, I give students the grades they earn, not the grades they plead for. Further, why should it matter if I am suspicious of compliments or not? If I'm in control of my material and getting the work done, how far should my feelings enter into my instruction?

The fact is, feelings will be a part of what I do in the classroom, and my unease with student compliments may point to a more basic feeling that could undermine what I do in the classroom daily. Does my doubts suggest a more general cynicism about students and teaching that serves to put distance between myself and my classes. That certainly would impair the connnection and hence communication I have with them.

I know I do feel that cynicism occasionally, and perhaps it operates as a self-fulfilling prophecy. As I begin preparing for next fall (an effort that will begin next week), it may not hurt to lighten up, and open up a bit.

Tag: Education